I have been sitting on this particular blog for awhile, trying to decide whether to bring it up, ask the question and discuss the idea. I do not know why I hesitated but from my experience in blogging over the past month and a half I feel more comfortable now.
Let me set the scene:
My daughter is enrolled in a local baby gym. We love it there. She does arts and crafts, general play and takes a gymnastics class there (yes, she is 16 months old in a gymnastics class! Never too early to create the next Dominique Dawes I say!). On occasion, the gym also has parties and events for all members and we went to one particular one. While there a nanny approached me to ask whether I would be interested in speaking with her particular child's mother. Sure, I responded. At that point, I met Ms. F. Ms. F let me know that she wanted play dates galore for her little one and would I be interested. She then mentioned that it was important for her to have play dates that were multicultural because she wanted her daughter to know children of other cultures. To get straight to the point, I was the only black parent there and my daughter was the only black child so immediately I giggled... Affirmative Action Play Dates! I gave her my information and realized after that she reached out to a few other people too but mostly children who had diverse backgrounds only.
But see... I was not offended or annoyed. I did not think she was using my child. It seemed she genuinely cared about exposing her children to different cultures and I could not scoff at that notion - wasn't I doing the same? I did not join the baby gym with the PRIMARY intent of meeting children of other races but it was absolutely apart of it. Before I entered high school I was only surrounded with black America children and people. Upon entering high school I was bombarded with different cultures when I attended the fifth largest high school in the country. From my view there is such a richness in going to the baby gym where parents and nannies are speaking French and Spanish to their children. Different cultures, races and thought.
I mentioned this to some other friends and some found this to be inappropriate and annoying...
So I ask you collective for your thoughts - would you be annoyed??
I don't feel qualified to have a comment about this, except that I'm really glad you wrote a post about it, and I think it's a really interesting issue/phenomenon.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't be offended at all. I'd prefer her to be willing to introduce her child to embrace different cultures as opposed to sheilding her. I would totally hook the kids up for a play date!
ReplyDeleteIt comes off a little odd because you don't normally see parents purposefully trying to introduce their kids to others who are "different." I wouldn't be offended though and I'm glad to see her doing that for her daughter.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't be offended, I am Puerto Rican and would have been fine taking my child to a play date.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by my blog too!
I am all a twitter about life
Nope...I would not be the least bit offended. In fact, I applaud this parent for trying to expose his/her children to a variety of cultures. I take Lauryn places knowing that there will be a variety of ethnic backgrounds present. Being that Lauryn is not in a nursery/daycare, and doesnt have that much one on one interaction with other children, all exposure is important. Great Topic!! Great Blog!!!!
ReplyDeleteEXCELLENT TOPIC! I would NOT be offended at all. I think she is simply attempting to do what we do on a regular basis by increasing our children's exposure. I'm glad you shared your information and I pray that it yields a wonderful experience for Lady C and you.
ReplyDeleteI discussed this with the husband and he said that he would actually love it if more parents were like this. But of course only with the intentions of making sure that their child was exposed to ALL cultural aspects to make sure that people were just that....people to them. However, if he felt like he were the local science fair project then he would politely decline and move on. I happen to feel the same way, but I was also the affirmative action person in so many of my friends social circles that it just seems second nature to me. None of them would have to say - "I have black friends - it would just be - This is my friend N. Nicholes, and vice versa.
ReplyDeleteI'll tell you that my dad paid me one of the biggest compliments on my wedding day when the doors opened. He said that he was proud that my wedding was so diverse - I think he called it the United Colors of Benetton - but he said that he was glad that there was a great selection of cultures there from contacts that I had made from elementary school on - and not just work or college. And not just ONE representation of another culture, but many.
Sorry for the thesis.
I must say that I am surprised about the level of agreement on this but perhaps that is because the objectors are being shy. I hope not though because I love intelligent dialogue.
ReplyDelete@N. Nicholes - I think it is a delight to have friends from many backgrounds. I know that my daughter will be very confused but in a good way because she has a Haitian godmother and "aunts" who are India, Taiwanese (hi Auntie Ada) and Jewish (hi Auntie FM). Granted these relationships were not forced but maybe sometimes you have to "force" it...
@Keaniebean - We will see. In my opinion it looked like she was creating quite a melting pot play group!!
@Latasha - I feel the same way. Lady C is not in daycare - she is with my mom or me so I love her to be around any children... well - well behaved ones.
@Lisa - I enjoy your blog and hope you are enjoying mind. Thanks for chiming in!
@Rae - oh it was odd for sure. There was much more "odd" to the conversation that I didn't mention like her asking her Lady C's sign and asking where she could buy black baby dolls. LOL... but I digress....
@Annamaria - Well you and I need more play dates so you can teach Lady C some spanish :-)
@FM - Yeah, I thought it was interesting and I have a feeling other mothers would want to do the same but are shy. I say - don't be!
I would not be offended. I think that it was a great idea.
ReplyDeleteI agree with everone who thought that having the playdate would be a great idea. I think teaching the kids early that we are all different will hopefully help with these sad "bullying" issues that have become out of control. Luckily I live on a street where almost every family is from either a different culture, religion or race. I can only hope this helps my little one grow up with an open mind toward others.
ReplyDeleteGreat topic, thanks for bringing this up!!
Thanks all! We have enjoyed the feedback on this!
ReplyDeleteI also think that it is a good idea and wish more parents did this. I think society thinks that it's up to black people to teach others about racism and diversity, but it should be everyone. When CNN did the baby doll test where white and black children had to pick which doll was "bad" -- and many of the white children said the black doll was bad...many of the white parents were so shocked, embarrassed and horrified at their child's action. But most of the white parents admitted that though they never said anything racist around their children, they were not exposed to other races and cultures.
ReplyDeleteI live in a predominately white (ok, all white) suburb of Chicago and I feel like I'm trading in diversity and culture for safety and good schools. I hope when my daughter (who is biracial) goes to school (if we're still in this area) has friends who parents are just as open.
Thank you all for your comments. The effort really has to come from all parents.
ReplyDelete